by jexmas on January 19, 2016

“I’m ready,” she said, throwing herself across the bed. “Ready for anything.”

He turned from the desk where he had been paying their bills and looked at her. She had taken off her work clothes and was lying on top of the sheet in her negligee, the one she reserved for the nights when she let him know she wanted sex.

He sighed inwardly. He was still only in his early sixties, but he felt his body to be soft and flabby. He was embarrassed by it when he remembered how strong and powerful he had been as young, athletic man in his twenties. At that time, sex was easy and he loved sharing his body with the sexy young girls who flirted with him at the local pub. He smiled as he remembered thinking that sex was all that was ever on his mind in those days.

But now, when his wife made these advances to him, trying to interest him, he felt completely turned off and afraid. She was still vital even at her age, only a year or two younger than he was. But he felt he could not satisfy her. He did not like his body and could not sustain his interest or his erection.

“You look lovely,” he said. “But not tonight. I’m not in the mood.”

His wife looked disappointed. “You never are these days.” She sat up and looked at him. “Can I even touch you?” she asked him.

He looked down. “I don’t want sex if you don’t want to,” she said. “But I want to be close to you. Just to hold you.”

He felt sad but he relented and they lay on the bed together. They talked and, after a while, he started to feel more comfortable. He liked the way she was rubbing his shoulders and he relaxed, getting back in touch with how much he loved this woman he had known for so long. For the first time, he felt that perhaps it was not his body that was letting him down, but his mind. It did not matter what his body was like. Hers was aging, too. What was much more important was the closeness they had between them, something that transcended their corporeal states. He smiled and looked at her. “You know,” he said. “I’m ready, too.”

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